


i'm fine

by demipancake



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Arora-chichou | Alola, Crying, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Nightmares, Papa Kukui, but only for up to the end of episode two so i think you'll be fine, give me papa kukui or give me death, minor spoilers for x/y i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-27 06:56:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16697575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demipancake/pseuds/demipancake
Summary: Kukui comforts Ash after a nightmare.





	i'm fine

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to ace for betaing this for me!!

Kukui was woken from his sleep by a loud  _ thud _ .

He cursed the fact he was a light sleeper. Although, Burnet, sleeping next to him, did stir slightly - he kissed her forehead. She smiled and dropped her head back on the pillow, asleep again.

Kukui was just about to do the same thing when he heard noises coming from outside their room. Not  _ right  _ outside their room, however - if he had to judge it vaguely, he'd say it was coming from around where the loft was.

Where Ash was.

He sighed softly to himself, knowing if he didn't check on Ash to make sure he was okay he wouldn't be able to sleep. He slowly swung his legs over the side of the bed, careful not to wake Burnet, and tiptoed to the door, exiting out into the hallway.

Now he was out here, he was able to identify what the sound was.

It was  _ sobbing. _

Kukui's heart clenched. Was that  _ Ash? _ Why was  _ Ash, _ one of his most cheerful students,  _ sobbing _ in the middle of the night? He was obviously trying to be quiet about it, to try not to wake anyone, presumably.  _ Too late. _

Kukui crept through the house, rounding the corner. The sobbing got louder as he started to climb the loft ladder, careful to avoid the one creaky rung.

His heart broke when he got high enough to peek over the top.

Ash was sitting on the ground curled up, shaking, arms and head resting on his knees. His face was hidden, but Kukui could clearly hear him crying - could hear him trying to stop himself from crying with little to no effect. He was leaning against the sofabed. Pikachu was curled up on it, next to his head, like it had woken up and checked on him but had gone back to sleep.

“Ash?” Kukui whispered hesitantly.

Ash's head snapped up. Despite it being dark, Kukui could make out the tears still running down his face. He tried to wipe them away with the back of his arm, but they continued to pour out of his eyes relentlessly. He choked back another sob.

Kukui climbed up the rest of the ladder and made his way over to Ash. He sat down next to him. Hesitantly, Ash leaned over into Kukui's side, and he put an arm around him. His sobs started to slow down, and eventually gave way to heavy breathing and occasional sniffles. Ash buried his face into his side.

Kukui, being the responsible adult in this situation, felt the need to say something.

“Do you…” he started hesitantly, “want to talk about it?”

Ash shook his head slightly and mumbled, “‘M fine, Professor,” into the fabric of his pyjamas.

Kukui almost laughed. Yeah, sure, he's fine. Didn't just cry his eyes out in the middle of the night or anything. Nope. “You're clearly not, Ash.”

“‘S just a dream. Di’n’t actually happen.”

“If it upsets you this much, it's obviously important.”

“‘S not.”

“It is.”

Ash went silent. Kukui sighed softly and followed suit.

They stayed like that for a few minutes until Ash's breathing became completely steady again. Not for the first time, Kukui desperately wondered what on Earth could have been in Ash's nightmare to get such a reaction.

“Do you think you'll be able to get to sleep again?” Kukui murmured. Ash hesitated, as if he didn't want to bother him, and shook his head no. 

Kukui detached himself from Ash's side and looked down at the boy. He had immediately gone back to the position he was in when he had come up the ladder - curled up next to his bed, as if Kukui had never been there.

Ash looked… so  _ young. _

That shouldn't have been that surprising. Under fifteen year olds generally did look young - but with Ash, like so many things, that wasn't the case. He looked so confident all the time Kukui sometimes forgot just how young he was - with Pikachu on his shoulder constantly he looked like a veteran trainer. And, if his stories about legendaries and leagues were to be believed, maybe he was.

But at the same time, he was just a  _ kid. _

A kid who got followed around by island deities, creatures from other worlds and people who wanted to steal his pokémon constantly. What kind of pressure is that? Kukui was sure he wouldn't be able to handle it, let  _ alone _ a kid.  _ Arceus, _ how was Ash  _ alive?  _ And so optimistic all the time?

“Hey…” Kukui started. Ash looked up at him, and he could still see the drying tear tracks on his face. “I'm gonna make some Tapu Cocoa. Do you wanna come down and have some?”

Ash blinked up at him. Then, he gave a tiny smile, so different from his usual massive grin. “Professor, you don't have to.”

“I was gonna make some anyway.” A lie. But if it comforted Ash at all, so be it.

Ash shook his head. “Even so…”

“Ash,” Kukui laughed quietly, “if you're not gonna sleep anyway, why not?”

He hesitated again, before giving Kukui a soft smile and standing up.

Kukui gestured to the ladder, smiling. “After you.”

Ash looked at the top of the ladder as if he had never seen one before and didn't know how it worked. Then he took a deep breath, shook himself out of it, and climbed down the ladder, Kukui right behind him.

As soon as he got to the floor, Kukui went to grab the ingredients for Tapu Cocoa, getting a small pot and turning on the stove. Ash sat down awkwardly on the couch in the TV area, staring down at his bare feet.

Kukui finished the drinks in silence, pouring them into a plain mug and a pikachu themed one - Ash's favourite. He turned off the stove and carried the mugs over to Ash, handing him his one. He glanced at the face on the mug with a tiny smile, before going back to staring at his feet, occasionally sipping his drink. They drank their cocoa in silence.

After a minute or so, Ash spoke up. “Do you…” he hesitated. “Do you know Lumiose City? In Kalos?”

Kukui nodded. “Of course.”

“Y'know, um… Prism Tower?”

“Yeah?”

“I, uh…” Ash played with a loose string on the couch cushions. “I jumped off it once.”

Kukui froze completely. “What?”

Ash gave a shaky laugh. “Yeah. I was trying to save a Garchomp, because Team Rocket put a shock collar on it but I guess it didn't work the way it was meant to? And it flew up to the top of the tower and I followed it, and um, I broke it, but afterward Pikachu slipped off the tower and I just…” Ash took a deep, shaky breath. “Jumped after it.” He swallowed nervously. “That- that was what the nightmare was… about. And why I fell off the bed.”

Kukui stared at him. “How- how are you alive?”

“A mega Blaziken saved me.” Ash took another drink from his mug as if to try and calm himself. “But-but in the dream… it, uh, didn't.” He took a deep shaky breath. “I don't know… why I got a nightmare about  _ that, _ though. Usually it's… about what happened at the league.” He laughed slightly, but it wasn't happy. “I guess it caught me off guard.”

Kukui was about to ask what happened at the league, but thought better of it when he saw just how shaken Ash still was. So instead he asked, “Was- was the jump filmed?”

“Yeah.” Ash murmured. “It was live on the news. I think the internet latched onto it for a bit, but I didn't pay attention.” He pressed his lips together.

Kukui made a mental note to look up that footage in the morning.

Ash swallowed the rest of his hot chocolate and yawned. “I think I can go back to sleep now. I didn't realise…” he rubbed his eyes sleepily, “I didn't realise talking about nightmares actually  _ worked. _ ”

Despite himself, Kukui chuckled quietly, while internally desperately wondering how Ash's mental state was  _ this _ stable. He looked at him again, and realised just how shaky he still was, and how he looked at the ladder leading up to the loft and shivered. Maybe it's not as stable as Ash would like anyone to believe.

Kukui stood at the bottom of the ladder as Ash went up, and followed after him. When he got to the top, Ash had Pikachu in his arms and was carefully trying not to wake it as he placed it back in it's bed. This was the pokémon Ash had almost  _ died _ for - multiple times, Kukui realised, thinking back to when Tapu Koko had thrown the yellow pokémon off a cliff and Ash hadn't even  _ hesitated _ as he dived after it. Which -  _ what? _

What kind of Pikachu was this, if it meant  _ that much  _ to a kid like Ash?

“Professor?”

Kukui was brought out of his thoughts by Ash's voice. “Are you okay?” he asked, and Kukui realised he had been staring at Pikachu for an uncomfortable amount of time.

“I'm fine,” he reassured Ash, “Go to sleep.”

Ash looked at him skeptically, but then yawned and decided not to argue when he could sleep. He pulled the cover around himself and lay down on the sofabed, snuggling into the pillow.

Kukui smiled at him and started to make his way towards the ladder. “Goodnight, Ash.”

“G'night, Dad.”

He froze.  _ What? _ He turned around, but Ash already had his eyes closed, seemingly fast asleep. He stared at him for a few moments before turning around and going down the ladder. Just before Ash disappeared from view, Kukui looked at him from his spot on the ladder. He stared for a bit, before continuing down. He took the mugs from the coffee table and dumped them in the sink, to be washed in the morning. 

As he was going back to bed, his brain suddenly supplied, without warning,  _ those are parental feelings. _

Kukui stopped short in the middle of the room, because,  _ what? _ But at the same time… oh no. That might be it.  _ Good job, Kukui. Ash has only been living with you for a year now… wait. _ Kukui glanced at the calendar.  _ It's only been… six months. Feels like longer. Well, Ash has only been living with you for six months, and you've gotten  _ this  _ attached?  _

Kukui snapped himself out of his stupor and continued back to his bedroom. He grabbed a sticky note off his desk, scribbled down on it,  _ look up ash jumping off prism tower, _ and stuck it next to his alarm clock.

\---

If Kukui didn't remember Ash crying in the night, he wouldn't have believed you if you told him about it the next morning.

Ash was bouncing around the kitchen, getting food for his pokémon like nothing had happened. In fact, if it hadn't been for the sticky note Kukui had left himself, he would've thought it had been a bad dream.

Ash ruffled Torracat's fur as he put down it's food bowl. It glared up at him, and he just giggled back. Kukui stared at him from where he was waiting for his coffee to finish, unable to comprehend how this Ash was the same person as last night's Ash.

“Ash?” Kukui started, and Ash looked up from where he was giving Lycanroc his food, and he must have seen something in Kukui's expression, because his grin faded quickly. “Are you… okay?”

Ash blinked slowly, before seemingly realising what he was talking about and smiling. “Yeah! Don't worry, Professor, I just get nightmares sometimes.”

Kukui raised his eyebrows. “How often?”

“Uhh…” Ash laughed nervously, grabbing Rowlet's bowl and setting it down. “They've gone down since I got to Alola! Just, um…” His voice suddenly got very small. “Once a month?”

Kukui stared at him. “Ash,” he began slowly, “that's a lot of nightmares.”

Ash threw his hands up in front of his face. “It's really not! Seriously, I used to get them like, every week! It's not that bad!”

“It's pretty bad.”

Ash basically slammed Pikachu's bowl on the floor, somehow not spilling any of it. The sudden noise made Kukui jump. Ash seemed to notice this and calmed down slightly. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “But, really, Professor, it's not that bad.”

Kukui looked at him disbelievingly but let it go. Next to him, the coffee machine beeped, and he poured some into a mug, leaving the rest for Burnet. He popped a sugar cube into the mug and stirred it, continuing to stare at Ash. What kind of other things did he go through to get nightmares once a month? Or once a week, apparently?

He vaguely recalled seeing some big news story about the Kalos League, and being sympathetic but also brushing it off slightly. It didn't happen in Alola - didn't affect him. But Ash had mentioned it last night as being worse than jumping off Prism Tower, thinking you weren't gonna be saved.

Kukui sipped his coffee, wincing as it burned his tongue. Ash came into the kitchen and made himself a bowl of cereal, devouring it in two minutes like usual.

How many times has Ash had a nightmare and continued on like this?

Kukui blinked at the thought that popped into his head, then thought it over more. Ash said this happens once a month or so, right? He hadn't noticed anything off about him before. Kukui glanced at Ash again, who was trying to stop Pikachu from eating a piece of cereal that had fallen on the floor. How good an actor is he?

“Pikachu, please, you'll get sick!”

“Pikachu-kachu!”

“That's not an excuse!”

Kukui leaned on the counter, drinking his coffee and trying to wake up more. “Can you understand it?” he asked, amused.

“Well-” Ash said, finally managing to yank the food out of Pikachu's paws, “sort of. Like, I know the basics of the Pikachu language. But it's mainly just body language.”

Kukui blinked. “So what was it saying just then?”

Pikachu, sitting on the floor, crossed it's arms and huffed. “Pika-ka.”

“It just said, “mind your own business,” which  _ isn't very nice. _ ” Ash glared at the pokémon, and it twitched an ear in his direction and slunk off. “But I'm like, ninety-percent sure it said “five second rule” or something.”

“That's… quite a bond,” Kukui murmured.

“Yeah, I guess so! It's more just me picking stuff up, or Pikachu telling me how to say things.” Ash put his bowl in the sink - right next to the mugs they used last night. “Like, “I love you” is “kachu-pi”, so I can tell Pikachu I love it.” He yells through the kitchen, “Hey Pikachu!”

“Pika?”

“Kachu-pi!”

“Kachu-pika!”

“That means “I love you too”.” Ash told Kukui, and went through the house to the loft to grab his backpack.

Kukui was stunned into silence. It made a  _ lot _ more sense why Ash would  _ actually die _ for this Pikachu now. He had never heard of a trainer who could speak some of their partner pokémon's language - but Ash could, and that was one  _ hell _ of a bond.

He  _ really  _ had to look up that newsfeed.

\---

Kukui stared at his screen in disbelief.

He replayed the clip.

Twice.

Because, if he wasn't mistaken, that was Ash  _ jumping off the tallest building in Kalos _ to save Pikachu.

Not to mention, apparently he tried to break through the shock collar the Garchomp was wearing with his bare hands?

Just…  _ what? _

There was a Froakie there as well, which had stuck the Garchomp in place, and Ash had just… leapt on top of it and tried to pry the collar off. Pikachu used Iron Tail, Ash helped the Garchomp calm down, and that should have been the end of it.

Then Pikachu fell, and Ash abandoned  _ all sense of reasoning he should have had _ and threw himself off Prism Tower.

Kukui  _ wished _ he wasn’t watching this in class, because he couldn’t exactly unmute the video to hear what Ash called after the Mega Blaziken, nor what he said during the short on-site interview afterwards.

Speaking of class…

“Professor?”

Kukui immediately hid his screen under the desk so Ash, suddenly in front of him, wouldn’t see it. Ash tilted his head to the side curiously. “Everyone already left. Are you okay?”

Kukui blinked, then looked at the clock and did a double take when he realised it was, in fact, the end of the day. He looked back at Ash, who was still staring at him with that concerned expression on his face.  _ Am I okay? Nevermind that, are you okay? _

“Yeah, I’m fine, Ash. Go on ahead.” Kukui gave him what he hoped was a convincing enough smile. Ash looked at him disbelievingly, but ultimately decided it wasn’t worth it and bounced through the door of the classroom.

Instead of watching the clip for the fourth time, Kukui decided to scroll down and look at the comments.

Big mistake.

The comments were filled with people saying, “isn’t this the kid that was in like six leagues?” or, “arceus can’t he catch a break, this is like the fiftieth time he’s saved a city right” or even, “wait isn’t this the mewtwo kid. like isn’t ash ketchum the one who saved kanto from mew and mewtwo or whatever”.

Once he scrolled down far enough, he found a comment that said “yo isn’t this one of the kids that saved alola from ultimate darkness or something??”. Kukui held his breath, and opened the replies.

A ton of them said, “yeah he’s part of the ub squad. like the kids who go around capturing the ultra beasts and returning them to their homes”. Someone literally had a theory that the Garchomp in the news broadcast was the Garchomp Ash rode when he was with the “UB Squad”, as the internet had dubbed it.

So, Ash was famous for doing stupid things for the benefit of others. Even if it meant  _ dying for a Pikachu. _ Cool. Okay.

No wonder Team Rocket wanted to steal Pikachu.

Kukui sighed heavily, and started to pack up his things, wiping down the blackboard with a cloth while absentmindedly thinking about Ash, as he so often seemed to do these days.

His brain hissed in his ear,  _ so back to the parental feelings thing… _

Oh boy. That's a whole can of Caterpie Kukui didn't feel like opening. He shut that part of his brain down immediately and continued packing up.

At the back of his head, the tiniest bit of  _ what if? _ lingered.

**Author's Note:**

> yell at me on tumblr - @demi-panoramic


End file.
